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The Firefly by ~MutedIllusion:iconMutedIllusion:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open


Seductive, long black
fake eyelashes.
Each blink is
another thought;
another renegade
moment of lust.

This is a brothel
without the whores.
A sweetness with a
jagged bitterness.

Chalky, sharp
as it cools your skin.

Flutter,
only a second for
impulsive action.
Goosebumps forming,
a slow
mesmerization.

This is the
sensation of having
fireflies crawling
along your skin.
Glowing, fading away.

This is when
you begin to realize.
Honey, I will
be your ruin.
©2009 ~MutedIllusion
:iconmutedillusion:

Author's Comments

................

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconspiker17:
~spiker17 Jul 8, 2009, 9:27:57 PM
The last line is absolute perfection.

I love the feeling that your words create. If I may, I'd suggest playing around with the format. You mught make it more powerful through seperating the lines into stanzas.

Regardless, it's beautiful. Very well done.

--
If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. - Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
:iconmutedillusion:
~MutedIllusion Jul 9, 2009, 9:40:47 AM
:aww: Thank you.
And I took your advice and you were right. I kept thinking there was something slightly off about it. I tried before but I seemed to have finally gotten the structure right.
Thanks :)

--
Hate

Love

:iconspiker17:
~spiker17 Jul 10, 2009, 10:24:10 AM
It's fantastic. The words are so much more powerful. Again, it's beautiful.

--
If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. - Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
:iconhooked-on-candycanes:
~Hooked-On-Candycanes Jul 13, 2009, 2:41:39 PM
Woah...that made my stomach twist a bit. Not cause it's sick but because it's so beautiful. I love the fireflies, it paints a vivid picture. Definitely a perfect way to end it. Great job. Definitely faving this one.

HOC

--
Nothing will change if it stays the same ~ Me
:iconmutedillusion:
~MutedIllusion Jul 19, 2009, 11:44:23 AM
:aww: Thank you so much.
I appreciate your sweet comment.

--
Hate

Love

:iconroland-deschain:
~roland-deschain Aug 10, 2009, 5:26:09 AM
this is so effective honey...
it may be my ruin

--
i am so lucky to love the one who loves me....
:heart: ~neleanor :heart:
You are never too old to rock`n`roll
if you are too young to die........
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